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A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew.

He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing the man’s sorry progress. Figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, he proceeded to enter his side of the confessional.

His attention was rewarded only by a lengthy silence. Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?" "I dunno." came the drunk’s voice from behind the partition. "You got any toilet paper on your side?"

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink.

The president of Budweiser orders a Bud.

Miller’s president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors.

When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda.

Why didn’t you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren’t having a beer neither will I.

A University graduate is applying for a part time job to help with his course fees. He applies to work in a supermarket and gets the job.

The first day the manager tells him to sweep the floor, the university graduate is furious and shouts "hey mate, don’t you know that I have several degrees in various areas of science and after seven years of going to university you ask me to sweep the floor".

The manager replied “Oh sorry, I didn’t know that, here pass me the broom and I’ll show you how to sweep the floor."