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"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If [...]

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk.
"That’s fine," said the girl. "I’ll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his [...]

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to [...]

No woman will ever be truly satisfied,
…because no man will ever have a Chocolate pen1s that ejaculates money!
 

Okay.
A beautiful girl asks you for a ride home. On the way she faints and you take her to hospital.
The doctor says; Congratulations!!!!. You are going to become a father;
THAT’S IT. YOU GET STRESSED.
You say: but that baby is not mine;
The girl said: you are the father of her baby;
YOU GET MORE STRESSED.
…and to prove [...]